Ben Rous,
Assistant Head of School

Director of Upper School

(Former Director of College Counseling)

HRA logoHRA: I always find that the most stress seniors and their families seem to feel at this point in their process is over the one thing they can’t control—the admissions decision. Which is too bad, because there are actually three decisions to be made in this process:

1. Where do I want to apply? (the student)
2. The admission decision. (the college)
3. Where do I want to attend? (the student)

Two of these three are in the total control of the student, but no one seems to be as concerned with these decisions as with the middle one.

Perhaps that’s human nature; after all, if we can control something, then I suppose it wouldn’t stress us out. But I would argue that the 1st and 3rd decisions are, in fact, far more important in the long term than the 2nd decision. In fact, in my nearly twenty years of doing this, the most stress I see has had to do with the 3rd decision.

This angst is what I have realized is the Law of Unintended Consequences at work. We in the HRA college counseling office advocate a thoughtful, fit-driven college search and application process for our students. We want them to pick a few colleges of differing selectivity where they think they will thrive based on factors like “size” and “location” (“location” can be further distilled to “urban” or “rural” as well as a particular region of the country). And they do! The result is that they have a number of schools that they really like from which to choose, and that can prove to be stressful.

And yet, ask any student or parent at the beginning of the process, and chances are that they are more anxious than excited. And that’s really too bad, because I would like to think of this process as a time of great excitement and promise rather than stress and worry.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Is it true what Groucho Marx once said—that no one wants to be a member at a club that would have them as a member? Why do we so desperately want what we can’t have? If we do want what we can’t have, what kind of evolutionary glitch is that?

If our ancestors chose not to marry because they couldn’t have the “one” they desperately longed for (and most everyone has had this experience, I’d wager), then we wouldn’t be here to suffer our own bouts of unrequited love (which, as I will explain in a later post, is kind of a handy thing to have experienced!).

My point is that there’s hardly anyone walking the earth who hasn’t been told “no” at some seemingly seismic moment in their youth and gone on to live a life of profound happiness. Anyone over thirty can confirm this, and we all know better than to think that where we were or weren’t invited to spend our undergraduate years have left some indelible mark on us.

So help our children understand and revel in their power of the application process.

HRA: Supporting Every Student

Hampton Roads Academy (HRA) in Newport News, VA, celebrates the uniqueness of each student by fostering a supportive environment that meets individual needs. With a focus on personalized attention, HRA ensures students receive academic guidance, emotional support, and diverse extracurricular opportunities. This commitment to care and respect shapes all aspects of student life at HRA.

HRA is dedicated to making its exceptional education accessible to all families. Through customized tuition assistance, HRA removes financial barriers, ensuring students from all backgrounds have the opportunity to thrive. Compassion and dedication guide their efforts to meet the needs of a diverse community.

HRA’s Commitment to Excellence

At HRA, education extends beyond academics. HRA is committed to developing well-rounded students through a comprehensive program that emphasizes honor, integrity, and personal growth. Every student’s unique strengths are nurtured within a supportive and inclusive community.

With small class sizes and dedicated faculty, HRA provides tailored support to help each student succeed. HRA fosters an encouraging atmosphere where students excel physically, emotionally, and academically, while exploring a wide range of activities, from athletics to the arts.

Why Choose HRA?

As the Peninsula’s only independent school serving Pre-K through Grade 12, HRA offers a unique educational experience. Accredited by the Virginia Association of Independent Schools and a member of the National Association of Independent Schools, HRA upholds the highest standards of academic excellence.

HRA enriches students’ lives beyond the classroom with a variety of programs. Our athletic teams emphasize teamwork, fitness, and sportsmanship, while the robust Arts program encourages creativity. The REACH (Real-world Experience and Academic Choices) Initiative connects academic learning with real-world applications, promoting personal growth and community service.

Schedule Your Tour of HRA in Newport News, VA, Today!

At Hampton Roads Academy, students receive a top-tier education centered on character development and future success. HRA cultivates critical thinking, teamwork, and a spirit of discovery, shaping tomorrow’s compassionate leaders. Serving families in Newport News, Poquoson, Hampton, and Williamsburg, VA, we invite you to schedule a tour and see how our nurturing environment can help your child reach their full potential.